Turning Grey

When grown-ups complain about getting older, words like metabolism, chronic, ache, and pain get a lot of play, along with 50 other terms that end in "itis" or "osis." Aside from exercise, eating well, and a well placed nip or tuck, we can't totally stop our slow and steady physical decline. But we rarely embrace one of the great aspects of aging. We get smarter. If the old addage "You learn something new everyday" is true, and if you've ever said "I wish I knew then what I know now," then you know what I mean.

But before you make me out to be a delusional optimist, I have a complaint about being more knowledgeable. It's the part about turning grey. Not the grey on my head, but the grey IN my head.

I've noticed that as I get older, I can't seem to settle on choices, make decisions, or take stands on things as quickly as I used to. Last year it took me weeks of research and two 2-hour visits to the store to decide on a new cell phone. And now that I need a new guitar amplifier, I'm putting the sales person at the music store through the same hell. It's not just me either. At restaurants kids can order their meal in 5 seconds, while adults can take 5 minutes after all the questions, switching, and special requests.

When it comes to decisions, I feel like I have Randy, Paula, and Simon in my head, each seeing things differently. As I get older I find that I can't get both feet to jump in the same direction. I eventually do climb off the fence, but only when I've really considered every option, angle and consequence. On the internet, if there are 165 user opinions on a product, I'll read all 165 and then check back the next day to see if number 166 has appeared that'll settle it all for me. I'd rather be right the first time, than wrong in fast time.

Now before you deem me to be wishy washy, or to lack character or conviction for not seeing things in more black and white terms, consider the fact that dictionaries can't even come to a consensus on how to spell the color of my world. Is it gray or grey? That's beyond ironic.

And as we become more worldly, which is it? Knowledge is power? Or ignorance is bliss?

I'll get back to you on that.